Looking back over the last couple of years, and also, what’s happening in June.
May is my “soberversary” month.
I had my last drink on May 8th 2015. And for those of you who don’t know the story – here’s what happened :
I was helping to cater q wedding. I was attempting to roast a huge side of beef in a tiny oven that refused to warm up. In contrast, I was hot, irritated and perspiring. Outside, my husband was grilling chicken on a BBQ. All around him, people were laughing and enjoying the spring sunshine, and of course, drinking heavily.
Instead of pouring myself a glass of iced water, I grumpily grabbed a can of (warm) beer. I wanted to be drinking and having fun, instead of being stuck in the kitchen.
I watched one lady, dressed in a beautiful black and white dress, lean on the man next to her. She was laughing a little too loudly, and her face was flushed, as she staggered a little and grabbed his arm. She laughed even more hysterically, and as someone else reached out to steady her, she swung her body backwards, lost her footing and plunged towards the BBQ.
My husband grabbed her before she got smothered in the grease. The BBQ remained upright, but the lady, still laughing, was sitting on the ground, her legs splayed outwards like a small child.
I saw myself.
I saw the lady’s partner help her to her feet. I saw him wave away the small crowd of people who had been attracted by the commotion. I knew what he was saying.
“Oh, she’ll be fine, she just had a bit too much to drink”
I wondered if he had been embarrassed by her behaviour as many times as my husband.
And I poured away the rest of the warm beer.
May 9th 2015 was Day One for me.
So May brings memories, and I also go through a comparison – what is my life like compared to a couple of years ago….and this year, I was struck about the amount of “control’ I have over my life – and how much I care about control.
When I was drinking, it was all about control. Controlling the secret. Making sure that I presented a normal ‘face’ to the world.
I tried to ‘control’ my drinking too.
I not only could not ‘control’ my booze consumption, the cracks were starting to show, and people wre beginning to see the truth.
So I retreated into victim mode – and decided that I couldn’t control ANYTHING? The world was doing this to me! My business was failing – the market, my partner, my staff – they were ALL doing this to me! People were OUT to get me – they didn’t care enough, they weren’t supportive, they didn’t “like” my page on facebook, they didn’t support me, they said nasty things – I retreated into this chaotic world where my life was literally spinning out of control and I was letting it.
Sobriety showed my WHAT parts of my life I can control.
I can control the words that come out of my mouth. I can control WHO I spend time with, I can control my productivity – how hard I work. I can control how I react.
I can control this very moment – right now, what I say, what I do.
There are many things that are out of our control.
In the past month of May, we were tragically reminded again, that we can’t control the evil of other people.
But we can control how we respond to it.
There are two days when we cannot control our sobriety – they are yesterday and tomorrow.
That’s a lesson I have learned in the last two years.
So, looking forward to June – I wanted to tell you about a couple of projects I have been working on – the first is the Break Up and Quit Kit – which is following a theme of Sober Made Simple.
It’s a four part Kit or online course, if you like – 4 e-books, videos and podcasts – with some practical advice for all those who are contemplating the break –up with booze or struggling right now. You can find the link on this podcast page if you are on my website – or just visit and you’ll find it.
This will be the last course I’ll put out for a while – because I focusing on my writing.
Sine I wrote Sober Ever After, I’ve been working on a How to book, and finally it looks like it will see the light of day really soon.
And I’ve been trying something different too –some fiction. I read a lot of sober fiction, and it helped me, so I thought I would write my own – it’s humorous (well hopefully), a bit chick lit meets mystery meet black humour – and I’m releasing episodes starting this month to see how well it’s received.
I’ve started a facebook page The Fat Chicken, and I’ll post the episodes there, or you can join a list to get them if you like, or follow on Wattpad. If people like it – well there’s a lot more where that came from.
If you want to keep up with what’s happening at Sober Sassy Life – you can join the newsletter of course – it comes out weekly or just about weekly and I do have an official day which I think was Tuesday, but It really could be any day – hhmm, maybe I should control THAT a bit better…
Anyway, thanks for listening today, and we’ll chat soon!