Giving up drinking should be simple and straightforward. It’s only a beverage right? And the only decision you have to make is to not drink it, right? And then continue to make this same decision every day.

Not complicated. AT ALL.

Yet, for most of us “alcohol dependent” types, we get our panties all in a knot about this seemingly simple “non-action”, that we KNOW we should (not) do. We spend months (in my case, years) hoping that we can somehow drown that pesky little warning voice in our head with yet another bottle of Merlot – and put off taking any action again.

So, in order to make this a little MORE simple for anyone who is stuck in this miserable “drinking –  wanting to stop – trying to stop – starting again – hating yourself – drinking again” cycle, here are FOUR things that you certainly, most definitely don’t have to give a flying fuck about when you quit drinking….

What Other People Think.

In fact, this is a really good thing not to give a fuck about in just about all of life’s situations. When it comes to quitting drinking (or any kind of self improvement at all) this decision really seems to piss some people off. Some of them will be your “drinking buddies” and they may be genuinely disappointed not to have your scintillating drunken behaviour to entertain them every Friday Night. But more likely, you will be depriving them of their rationale to keep drinking. I am certain that many people used to comfort themselves after a drunken binge drinking night…

“at least I wasn’t as bad as Jackie….”

Also, as your sobriety starts to show – your skin looks better, you lose weight, you get shit done, you rise in your career – the green-eyed monster ‘Jealousy’ will rear it’s ugly head.

You can usually tell the people who have been consumed by the green-eyed monster. They will be saying stuff like

“I’ll NEVER quit – it’s so booorrrriing being sober”.

Well, screw those people.  The best thing that happens is that they start to fade away, because YOU”LL find that these people are irritating when they are drunk – and THEY”LL want to find other ‘drinking buddies” that enable their destructive behaviour.

It’s weirdly freeing.


Never again will you have to worry about the new (expensive) fad in dieting. You won’t have to squirt baby monkey urine under your tongue and exist on 250 calories per day, or boil up cabbages and peat moss…or whatever the fuck that quack “nutritionists” are charging $800 to help get you back into your “beach body”. Hint. to get a “beach body”, take your body to a beach. There. Done.

By simply putting down the bottle, you will be cutting your calorific intake significantly, you will lose that “bloated” look and feeling – and because you are not waking up with a hangover every morning, it is likely that you will have time to get out and walk.

You will lose weight FOR FREE!  (And fuck the baby monkey urine)

 Social Media.

Are you waking up at 3.00am with a raging, sweaty hangover, worrying about what you might have said the night before – AND WORSE…..WHAT YOU MIGHT HAVE TWEETED Or FACEBOOKED??

Yes, I have even scrambled out of bed in the wee small hours to check my phone, filled with dread – only to discover that the following day I will be doing damage control.

Now, social media is no longer the weapon of self -humiliation that it used to be, and I can smugly scroll through, enjoying everyone else’s drunken rants. (Or sober rants from POTUS)


No more arguments about who is driving. No more expensive cab rides. No more staying over, having to sleep in dusty guestrooms with dog hair on the bed, and, in the morning, having to help clean up from the night before, unless you manage get up early and slink out.

Nope, now I can leave when the party disintegrates from social to stupid, I can retrieve my kitchen ware from the food table ( no longer do I have to scrawl my name in magic marker on every bowl), I can drive home safely and legally, and wake up in my OWN bed, knowing that it’s these mornings that people wish they were me…

Having so much less to give a fuck about, frees up my mind and energy for other things. I can care about creativity, about my purpose in life, my spirituality, my dreams and my goals.


Jackie xx

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